CAREGIVING: Tonight was about as rough as they’ve come. (So far.) Kathy is in bed with her clothes still on. But we are fortunate we got her there and didn’t need an ambulance or the police. Today we had our annual eye checkups at Pioneer Valley Eye Associates. We have been going to that office at Holyoke Medical Center for years. Our appointment was late in the afternoon at 3:30. I have the same tech do both of us if there are questions. As it was, Kathy was having trouble communicating. She said she could see the eye charts but couldn’t or wouldn’t read the letters. The tech asked her to read one letter and she could. She was losing her body strength and her torso was bending way over to the right. Somehow they had a way to check what they needed to check. But by the time the ophthalmologist, Dr. Hulseberg, came in it was already way past 5 pm. Kathy was interested in going to Bertucci’s Restaurant for dinner so I wanted to try to make that happen. I managed to get her bundled back up and back into the car. But just barely… She couldn’t slide over into the middle of the passenger seat. It was really cold so I just got the seat belt around her somehow and clipped her in. I gave Marty a very quick parking lot walk and I headed to Bertucci’s. By the time we were on the road Kathy was already leaning over completely. Her head was resting upside down on the padded console between the seats. Once we got there I realized that there was no curb cut to get her chair into the restaurant. The nearest one was a few doors down. I found a handicap spot but realized when I stopped that Kathy was in no condition to go into a restaurant and eat upside down. I gave Marty another walk and we headed home. I said I could pull something together for dinner.
Then the scary part began. I got her out of the car but her legs wouldn’t move without me reaching down to move each foot. Somehow I got her up the few stairs but on the porch she just lost her strength and went down on the porch. I couldn’t lift her at all. She was pretty much face down so I lifted the gait belt as much as I could and got her partway into the front door. No one stopped to help. I don’t think any neighbors were home because none of their lights were on.
Then I dragged her on a carpet enough so I could at least close the door. The next step was to panic and take turns apologizing to one another. She just couldn’t help but at least she wasn’t hurt or in pain. I considered calling an ambulance. She had no strength at all. I tried putting a wooden chair behind her but couldn’t lift her enough. Then I finally got just her head and shoulders up off the filthy carpet and on to the seat of the old wheelchair we keep in the basement. She still couldn’t get up but I helped her walk on her knees with her head on the wheelchair. I worked her slowly over to the chairlift. Then somehow I was able to turn her around and wrestle her up into the wheelchair seat. She was OK. I put my coat over her to keep her warm and I went out to park the car which was still in the street with Marty. That gave Kathy a chance to rest a minute or so.
I got her into the lift and up the stairs. Got her on and off the toilet and really wanted her to go right to bed but she wanted to eat. I had started to make chili in the morning so she wanted that. I gave her medicine to her while dinner was heating up. That was a mistake because it made her sleepy. Her mouth was facing the floor because she was so drowsy and worn out. The food wanted to fall out of her mouth.
After she ate, I rinsed her mouth with mouthwash. No brushing or flossing. I got her on the toilet but she was ready to fall and didn’t need to go anyway. I tried to get her clothes off but she couldn’t stand long enough to get her pants off. So I just got her into bed with her clothes on. I just feel fortunate it worked out somehow. It was a close call. It won’t be the last unfortunately.