CAREGIVING: Our hospice nurse came for one of her visits on Friday. Kathy checked out fine: blood pressure; oxygen with that finger clamp thingie; and her lungs sounded clear. I told her I was starting to give her tastes of food and drink. She thought that was fine as long as I am careful. I also told her I was thinking of cutting back on some of the anti-psychotic meds Kathy is taking. I have read a bit about dementia patients on Zyprexa and Valproic Acid (Depakote). I told her I need to check with the Huntington’s clinic staff down at UConn. She pointed out that since Kathy is doing so well she wouldn’t mess with it. “If it ain’t broke don’t fix it” she said. Also, since she is at risk of depression it can take two weeks for those meds to start working again. I wouldn’t do anything on my own, anyway.
The nurse was asking if I had met with the social worker and the bereavement counselor from the hospice yet. I still feel odd talking about that in front of Kathy. I said I have met with the social worker, and the spiritual counselor a few times. But I haven’t talked with the bereavement counselor yet but I probably will. She said he seems like a nice guy.
Then we talked for a while about her story. She was a hospice nurse for quite a while and then worked with veterans. She had been hired as a temporary replacement for our first nurse when she changed jobs a month or so ago. There were some discussions going on about making her a permanent part of Mercy Hospice. She was keeping her fingers crossed.
Marty was listening attentively to everything. He has a misbehavior which is cute to some visitors. If you stop petting him for more than a few seconds, he lifts his paw and hits your leg. That brought the conversations to the nurse’s own animals.
Her family has a horse, dogs, cats and had a donkey and probably other critters I can’t remember. Well, it turned out her donkey passed away a few days ago. They loved the donkey and it was best buddies with the horse. She had to call a vet at night and they gave it IVs of minerals and antibiotics and tried everything. But it died the next morning. Sharon was waiting to get the vet bill for that visit. The big problem was what to do with a dead donkey? She said when it is warm enough you can bury it with a backhoe on your property. But that isn’t an option because it is so cold out. The next option is cremation which would probably cost thousands. The final option was called rendering. They use the different part of the animal for different industrial products of some sort. She said she made sure they don’t make it into any food products. So, a truck from a rendering company came and took the donkey away. It turned out that alone cost $600 and she and her husband haven’t received the bill from the vet.
Now there is the added problem that her horse seems depressed about losing his friend the donkey. I imagine they were probably like a couple. The horse ran off and went along the paths and to the places the two of them used to go. It was hoping it could find the donkey again. The nurse and her husband are planning to see if they can board the horse at their neighbor’s barn. That way it will be around other horses and won’t be as lonely.
I said, “Boy, it sounds like you need the bereavement counsellor more than I do!”
She said, “No, not really. I talked to you.” As she left she thanked me for the bereavement counselling. So, I guess I can add that to my resume: donkey bereavement.
