October 14th: Two years

Saturday, October 14th was the second anniversary of Kathy’s passing.

The first one was the first one.
Nothing more. Nothing less.
The second was easier but different.

I cut myself some slack about what I had accomplished. Or not.

Or the inevitable, “And how are YOU doing, Peter?” inquiries. Before the first anniversary, I was still going through things. Planning Kathy’s memorial celebration and the art exhibit. I was still figuring out what to do with the ashes. And life was keeping me busy.

Thinking about it is just a way of taking stock. Processing. For me, it isn’t really grieving as much as planning for the next thing. Or things. Work is going well. I’m busier than ever with design work I enjoy. Clients are paying on time. I wasn’t used to that.

I am enjoying my music outings. And chipping away at my house projects.


I decided to mark October 14th by returning to Lighthouse Point Park near New Haven.

That was where I scattered Kathy’s ashes last November. For those of you new to this blog, Kathy passed away from Huntington’s Disease on October 14th, 2015.  (See Rest in Peace) Despite a series of snafus with two medical colleges, her body was donated to Harvard Medical School. She was there for about a year. Her cremated remains were delivered by a mailman in late September of 2016. (See “Have a Great Day!”)

The tidal pool where I scattered Kathy’s ashes

A few months later I scattered her ashes in a tidal pool in front of the lighthouse. This year I did not slip and fall into the sea (probably because it was low tide). (See Ashes, Ashes)


One thing that surprised me about Lighthouse Point Park is that it costs $30 day to go there if you don’t live in New Haven. I mean it is a nice enough place. There is an antique carousel. But I’ve never seen it open. The beach is tiny. The restrooms were stinky when I was there. This summer I just felt like I had too much to do around the house so I never got down there. The season must be over now because I was able to drive right in. A sign with an arrow pointed to “Shannon and Robert’s Wedding.” It was drizzling.

Marty and I walked around the grounds a bit. Well, I walked. He waddled. I didn’t want to get too far from the restrooms because I had visited Dunkin’ Donuts on my way down.

It turned out the Men’s Room was locked. It was okay though. Marty led me to some concealed tall sea grass of some kind and kept a lookout.

We walked around in the mist and I found a rose near the lighthouse. A member of Shannon and Robert’s wedding probably dropped it. But I decided it was from Kathy. 

  2 comments for “October 14th: Two years

  1. Chris
    October 15, 2017 at 9:57 pm

    I think you were correct. About it being from Kathy.

  2. Sarah R Porretta
    October 16, 2017 at 12:05 am

    Hugs Uncle Peter! Been thinking about my Dad, Aunt Kathy, and Aunt Barb lately! Really do miss them! Hope you are doing well!

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